Trial
by fleshnblood
Summary: Jane and Maura must navigate the immediate aftermath of the attack on Police headquarters-R&I,Season 1 finale, Jane's recovery, and their brand new romantic relationship. Sequel to "For You, Jane." Femslash, M for language, adult themes. R & R please.


**Trial **

Sequel to "For You, Jane" (M)

Jane and Maura must navigate the immediate aftermath of the attack on PD Headquarters (R&I Season 1 Finale), Jane's recovery, and their brand new romantic relationship. (M)

**Disclaimer: I appreciate but don't own the characters. You know which ones. They belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT Network. Thanks for the loan. I'll take good care of them.**

A/N: Story "For You, Jane" still in progress but I've had this fic around since Sept. 2010 and wanted to post before the R & I new season. Many, many thanks to readers/subscribers!

**tri****·****al **(trī´әl, trīl) n. 1. Law. Examination and hearing of evidence before a court to decide the issue of specified charges or claims. **2**.** The act or process of testing, trying, or putting to the proof. 3. An effort or attempt. 4. A state of pain or anguish that tests patience, endurance, or belief.**

Chapter 1-A Difficult Day

Maura was on the sidewalk rushing toward Jane and Marino before anyone could stop her. The scene in front of PD Headquarters was not secured, not safe. The sound of the muffled gunshot made Maura pause a moment but her eyes remained fixed on the image of Jane and Marino falling. _Jane._ A few steps and Maura was on the ground at Jane's side. The concrete tore at her bare knees but she didn't feel it. Her adrenaline was too high. She put her hand on Jane's neck. Frost and Korsak arrived simultaneously. Frost still had his gun trained on Marino's inert body.

"Jane?"

Jane came to suddenly and began to get up.

"Stay down." Maura put her hand on her chest and guided her onto her back. "Frost, put your jacket under her head." Frost immediately removed it and bunched it up for Maura. He brought his attention to Marino and removed the guns from Bobby's hand and from his back. He dragged him away from Jane and checked for a pulse. He was alive but his right center mass wound was already soaking him with blood. He felt sick and light-headed as he knelt beside him. The prick of his conscience nagged him. He should do something. He looked back to Jane then back to Marino. Frost put the palm of his hand over his wound. Marino opened his eyes and coughed up blood. He looked at Frost wide-eyed and smiled.

"Shit," Marino chuckled as more blood dripped from his mouth and nose. He turned his head slowly to look at Jane then back at Frost. With his last conscious moment he found humor in what Jane had managed to do. He was still smiling as his eyes closed.

Korsak went down to knees by Jane's left side. Jane lay with her arms spread out, palms up, legs writhing, heels scraping the sidewalk. So like the last time he was at injured Jane's side. Like after Hoyt. In his mind, he repeated the word 'no' over and over. He picked up Jane's left hand in his trembling, beefy fingers. "You're gonna be alright, Jane."

"What about Frankie? You gotta get Frankie." Adrenaline still pumping, she wanted to get up and go to him.

"SWAT cleared the morgue first, they'll get him," Korsak said. Unis had started to gather around to gawk at Jane.

Korsak looked at them "Go to the morgue and get Frankie outta there!"

Maura lifted up Jane's shirt to reveal the burnt, profusely bleeding wound on her side below her right breast and ribs. Maura was immediately alarmed at the amount of blood.

She thought to herself 'this is bad.' She looked at Korsak. "Do you have anything? Anything I can put over the wound?"

Korsak put down Jane's hand and searched his jacket pockets. He produced a large wad of Dairy Freeze napkins and handed them to Maura. Jane saw them.

"Really Korsak?" Jane teased.

Korsak smiled "What can I say?

Maura split the stack and pressed half against her side. "Lift her towards you," she told Korsak. He clutched her shoulder and hip and gingerly brought Jane towards him. Maura looked at the exit wound, bigger and a little higher and bleeding more. She placed the rest of the napkins to the ragged hole and pressed. Korsak lay Jane back down with Maura's hands firmly covering the wounds. Jane cried out. She squeezed Korsak's hand hard. She trembled uncontrollably and continued to dig her heels into the side walk.

"God, it hurts. How bad is it?" Jane lifted her head to try and look at the wound. She saw the stream of blood running out from under Maura's hand, down her side, and pooling under her. She could smell it. It took her back to that basement and Hoyt. On her back, helpless, bleeding, and afraid.

"Don't look, Jane. Look at me." Maura's mind raced: a bullet can cause so much damage as it travels through the body and often unpredictably. Jane's liver had to be hit due to the amount of blood but what about her lung, kidney, intestines? She couldn't know for sure. Her right lung was still inflating. Was there nothing else she could do? ABC. Airway, breathing, circulation. The sight of Jane's blood soaking the napkins and dripping through her fingers onto the sidewalk made a wave of nausea roll through her stomach into her throat. Nothing about a human body ever made her nauseated except this, now. It's _Jane_.

Jane obeyed and looked at Maura. She watched the sweat roll down Maura's face. Her body felt so heavy like she was sinking into the concrete. She felt chilled. Jane thought 'am I about to pass out or is this what it feels like to...?' She concentrated on her next breath, painful to draw but still coming. She gathered her strength and put her right hand on Maura's arm. If she was gonna go, she wanted to be touching her if nothing else. She thought 'Maura is right here, I'll just ask.'

"Maur, am I dying?"

Maura's expression had been locked tight in determination but suddenly her face crumbled.

"Maura, it's okay," Jane whispered. The full weight of what Jane had done came to her through the intense pain in her side and what she saw in her friend's eyes.

Maura remembered those same words, the deep, soothing tone Jane had used when she tentatively caressed and kissed her for the first time just a few days ago. 'It most certainly not okay,' Maura thought. She strained harder to keep pressure on Jane's wounds.

"This is survivable, Jane." She looked at Korsak. "She needs help, Vince."

Korsak lay Jane's hand on her stomach and stood. He grabbed his walkie and started walking toward the street. "What kind a bullshit is this. We need a bus right now."

"Just relax and keep breathing."

Maura stared at Jane, looking for signs of shock. She watched Jane's chest rise and fall with breaths that were becoming more rapid and shallow.

"Is he dead?" Jane asked. Her voice barely above a whisper.

Maura looked at Marino. Frost was mechanically doing chest compressions. There was nothing she could do to assist Frost without taking her hands off Jane and she was not willing to do that.

"I don't know. There's a lot of blood. I assume so."

"Assume?" Jane smiled.

Frost paused and looked at Maura. He stopped compressions and felt for a pulse. Maybe nothing but he continued anyway.

Maura watched Jane struggling to stay conscious. Her jaw was slack and mouth open except when she swallowed.

Two EMTS sat in their unit, listening to the radio, watching from down the block. A Latina woman in her early thirties, Rodriguez, sat antsy in the driver's seat. Her raven hair was pulled back away from the scowl on her face into a tight ponytail. A Irishman with a blond buzz cut, Patrick, sat next to her. She started the engine of the ambulance..

"Lu, didn't you hear? They're shooting from the roof?"

"Didn't _you_ hear? Officers down." She put it in gear. "Fuck it, we're going."

"Oh Christ, not again."

"Get out the vests, pussy," she smirked.

Maura saw the ambulance coming through the police blockade. The press had also arrived.

In a minute, EMTS Rodriguez and Patrick were there with their gear and a gurney, Korsak followed. They eyed Jane and Maura then went to Frost and Marino first. Frost moved back and leaned against the building.

Korsak strode up to them and pointed to Marino then to Jane, "Hey, that's the cop killer, this is the cop!"

They spent a minute on Marino then moved on to Jane. Patrick helped Maura to her feet and passed her off to Korsak. Maura introduced herself as the Medical Examiner and Jane's friend and told them Jane's name, age, that she was healthy, had no drug allergies she was aware of and the type of handgun, caliber of bullet, and approximate time elapsed. One contact shot, likely hitting a solid organ, perforating. Maura stood there watching them. Her arms hung limp at her sides, Jane's blood staining her palms and dripping off her fingers. Her legs felt weak and she wondered if she was about to fall down but Korsak moved close to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She admired the speed and certainty with which the EMTS worked in tandem almost without speaking.. They cut Jane's shirt off, assessed her, covered her wounds, and had her on the board then wrapped up on the gurney with oxygen in less than five minutes.

Frost walked to Jane's side, "He's gone. You got him, Jane." Jane turned her head slightly and acknowledged him.

"You should ride with her to the hospital," Korsak said in Maura's ear.

"I have to get Bass. He's in the morgue," Maura replied in an emotionless monotone as she watched the medics raise the gurney and begin to push it to the ambulance.

"Who is Bass?"

"My tortoise."

"I'll get Bass. You go."

"He has a carrier. Put him in my car in the deck." Maura followed Jane to the ambulance and wiped her hands on her dress before she climbed in.

Rodriguez told Jane she was doing terrific and she was going to start an IV to keep her blood pressure up, and they would be at the hospital soon. Maura held Jane's hand.

"You're doing great too," Rodriguez smiled at Maura. Patrick started them moving. Rodriguez uncovered Jane and removed her pants. Jane grunted disapproval through the oxygen mask which made Maura happy.

"Sorry, Jane. I have to check for other injuries." She took Jane's shield off her belt and car keys from the pocket and handed it to Maura. She bagged the rest of Jane's clothes.

Maura struggled to keep up with the EMTS and they rolled Jane inside the ER and briefed the waiting doc. She heard Rodriguez giving him her vitals and say "stable" but she knew Jane needed a CT scan to explore the damage inside her and possibly immediate surgery. Rodriguez saw her coming and stopped the gurney. She made eye contact with Maura.. Maura put her hand on Jane's forehead. Jane's mouth was covered with the oxygen mask and her eyes were closed. Maura bent down close to her ear and said "I love you." Then they were through the triage doors and Maura was left standing there thinking about how she had not said that to Jane before. A lie of omission.

"Come here, dear," a voice said. It was a middle aged black woman. She asked for information on Jane and Maura gave her what she could and showed her Jane's badge so she could read the number. She stared at her hand holding the badge. It had blood on it in differing stages of dryness. She was angry with herself that she didn't know Angela's number. It was in her phone. Maura asked for info about Frankie but was directed to a waiting area.

The area was fairly full of people: single elderly missing one partner, families camped out for the long haul with children, black, white, Hispanic wearing grim faces, talking to each other, silently staring at the TV, drinking the free, watery coffee. She sat down at the nearest chair. As she sat, she put Jane's keys in her lap and held Jane's shield. She ran her thumb over the metal, scraping off a bit of blood. Maura stared at it then put it to her lips for a moment. When she put her hands back in her lap and looked around, she was surprised to find all eyes on her; some just for an awkward second or two but most continued to look at her. She realized they were looking at the blood on both of her hands and smeared down her left forearm. She stood immediately and found the restroom.

Maura took the chain out of Jane's shield and put it around her neck and the laid the keys down. The water was as hot as she could stand as she scrubbed. Diluted blood poured off into the sink and splashed the surrounding area. The red pattern of her dress seemed to hide the stains on it at first, if you didn't really look closely, but now Jane's blood was turning dark on the front where she had wiped her hands. Maura looked at her face in the mirror as she dried her arms, hands, and wiped the top of the sink. Her eye make-up was smeared and there was blood on her cheek and chin. She took more towels, wet them with cold water and patted her face at first, then rubbed harder. Feeling dizzy, she walked to the wall of the bathroom and leaned against its cool tiles. It was finally here. It had been waiting in her throat since the whole ordeal began. Maura started to cry. She thought about Frankie—did she do enough to save him? And Jane falling—had she lost too much blood? This couldn't possibly be the way it's going to end. She buried her face in the rough towels to stop the tears and stifle the whimper that reverberated in the room. Maura was startled by someone touching her shoulder.

"You alright?"

Maura looked up. It was a stocky, overweight woman, late-forties, with bleached blond hair displaying darker roots. She wore a black t-shirt imprinted with two larger than life hands of Christ, displayed palm up, each marked in the middle with a bleeding wound. Below them it read "Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands—Isaiah 49:16."

"I'll be fine, thank you," Maura smiled.

"Okay. My Da had a heart attack and he's getting a bi pass." This distracted Maura for a moment and she nearly ask for his prognosis but refrained. "Who are you waiting for?" the woman asked. She was way into Maura's personal space but Maura had no polite way out.

"My friend...and her brother," she replied wiping her eyes again, "they're police, they were shot. Well, one wasn't shot but..."

"Oh Lord!" The woman exclaimed and took both of Maura's wrists in her hands. "Do you mind if we pray?"

"I don't really pr..." Maura started.

"Dear Jesus, Divine healer, we turn to you in this time of trouble. Please give us strength to bear this burden..." Maura stared at the scarred hands on the shirt which seemed to pop out in 3-d over the woman's ample chest. "We place our loved ones in your care and humbly ask that you restore them to health but as in all things, give us grace to accept your will. We pray this in your name, Amen." The woman let go of Maura, crossed herself, and smiled. "I'll be out there if you want to talk." She disappeared into a stall. Maura thought 'how could I accept this?' She took some deep breaths and went back to her chair.

Korsak was there, against the wall, holding Maura's purse on his lap. He stood to hug her. She relieved him of her purse and put Jane's keys inside but left her shield around her neck.

"You haven't heard anything?" He took Maura's hand.

"She just went in a few minutes ago. She was stable and the EMTS were very good." They sat.

"Frost is looking for the Rizzolis. God, it's gonna tear them apart." Korsak squeezed Maura's hand hard. "Jesus Christ, Jane. It's always Jane. Why didn't she wait? We were all right there! We would have taken the shot if she'd waited."

"Frankie. She did it for Frankie. Plus, Jane...waiting?"

"Yeah, you're right." Korsak paused, "I put your turtle in your car."

"Tortoise," Maura corrected. "How did he look?"

"I don't know, like a tortoise."

Maura was concerned but there was nothing she could do about Bass now.

The TV news was on and it was all about the shooting at PD headquarters: armed drug dealers, two survived, one dead cop, two transported, one dead civilian.

"Who is the dead civilian?" Maura asked.

"A girl, witnessed Danny's murder. I should be down there dealing with this mess but I had to be here for her."

Korsak stood. "Want some coffee?" Maura nodded. As they drank, a patient liaison approached. She was young with short red hair gelled into place, perfect make-up but somehow bedraggled.

"Rizzoli, Jane?"

"That's us," Korsak replied. She informed them that she was in surgery. Despite Korsak's attempts to leverage his badge for more information about Jane and Frankie, they were not relatives. Maura considered saying she was Jane's "significant other" but decided against it. Maura could see Korsak was frustrated and on the edge. She tried to offer some comfort: "It's good that it went straight through her and didn't ricochet of a bone inside her. Perhaps there's less damage. Well, it's not good, but better than..."

"It's damn good it went through her and killed that son of a bitch."

Maura continued to watch the TV coverage. She saw the front of PD and the medics loading Jane into the unit, herself following behind. More stares from waiting room occupants. She leaned back and closed her eyes but not to sleep. She had seen enough.

Maura startled upright when she heard Angela Rizzoli's shrill voice outside the waiting room making her demands to the liaison: "My babies are here! I want to know what's happening!" She went on shouting until she started to sob. Maura and Korsak looked at each other but stayed seated. In a few minutes, the Rizzolis entered the waiting room.

"Gawd, there they are!" Korsak and Maura stood. Angela embraced them. Frost walked in behind them, hugged Maura, and nodded to Vince. Angela's eyes were red and swollen, she began to rant again. "I knew this day would come. I knew it. But at the same time? What did I do wrong, God?"

"Angela, for God's sake!" Frank, Sr. said. The liaison quickly hustled the five into a private room to wait. The Rizzolis sat on a couch, Maura and Korsak at a small table, Frost stood at first, then sat.

"What did they tell you, Angela?" Korsak asked.

"Oh, Jane's in surgery and Frankie's getting scans or something and a tube," between sobs, "but he was wearing a vest!"

"The impact of the rounds caused internal bleeding and organ damage. He..." Maura felt Korsak's hand on her shoulder and she stopped talking.

"No, I want to hear, Vince."

"No you don't, Ange," the elder Rizzoli said.

Silence.

"Maura, did Jane say anything to you? I know you were with her."

Maura hesitated. "She was conscious and talking. She even joked with me." This seemed to comfort Jane's mother. Maura hoped she wouldn't notice the blood on her dress.

Maura got out her cell phone which had been rumbling in her purse. As she expected, there were notifications that autopsy was a crime scene and bodies were being diverted. She considered leaving and taking some calls but instead she sent a text to the most useful person on her staff saying that she was at the hospital and unavailable so another medical examiner needed to be called to assist. She turned her phone off.

Maura, Frost, and Korsak stared at Angela as she mumbled prayers and promises to God through sobs. Frank Sr. sat stolidly with an arm around his wife. Maura sat back straight against her chair with her hands in her lap. She closed her eyes to the weary faces and Angela's tears. She concentrated on clearing her mind of all the theorizing of trajectories and playing out worst case scenarios. She thought just about Jane: how Jane's voice seemed to vibrate inside her own body when she had said 'I want you,' the look of her long, beautiful body lying naked beside hers, the smell of her hair and skin, the revelation of touching her and how satisfying it was to be touched by her. Inevitably, Maura's worrying brain took her back to Jane's injuries.

Frost left and came back with more coffee.

"There are guys from the unit and uniforms all over the place out there waiting for news," He announced.

Korsak smiled. "When it's one of our own...we're there."

Angela looked at Korsak: "How did this happen? I mean did you get the people who did this to Jane and Frankie?"

Maura and Korsak stared at Frost.

"You didn't tell her?" Korsak questioned him.

"Uh," Frost stammered, "they were all taken down, Mrs. Rizzoli, but Jane...she...the guy used her as a human shield and he had his gun to her head..."

A look of horror appeared on Angela's face.

"...so Jane grabbed the gun and yanked it down..." Frost began to pantomime the action. "and she pulled the trigger and shot through herself to get him. It happened really fast."

Korsak chimed in. "He was a real scum bag, Angela, the worst kind...a bad cop. Jane knew Frankie was in trouble and she wanted to end it fast so he could get help. It was heroic."

"Heroic? Oh my God! My daughter is suicidal!" Angela turned to Frank, Sr. "I told you how many times to stop her from going to the academy! I said she'll listen to you, Frank. But you said 'no, let her go, she'll make a great cop.'"

"She is a great cop," Korsak added.

"Butt out, Vince." Angela continued to Frank "Is this what you wanted for Janey? For Frankie?"

"Stop it Angela. This is pointless," Frank was roiled but covered it.

"It's pointless now that our kids could be dying!

Frank stood. "I gotta go."

"Please stay, Mr. Rizzoli," Maura asked quietly. He sat back down.

Angela focused on Maura. "Why did this have to happen to Jane?"

Maura's eyes widened at this rhetorical question directed at her. She was used to answering why and how with science but this was unanswerable to a mother in pain. She "went with her gut" as said what popped into her mind without censoring it or considering the logic of it: "I don't know but I wish he would have taken me instead of Jane."

"Naw, Doc," Frost shook his head, "Jane would have done something crazy. She wouldn't have let Marino take you anywhere."

"Is Jane crazy?"

"I didn't mean..." Frost backpedaled.

"No, she's not," Maura said definitively.

The door opened. The liaison and a middle-aged female Asian surgeon entered. The Rizzolis stood. She introduced herself and said that Frankie would be fine and he was ready for visitors. Frank said he'd stay and wait for news on Jane while Angela went alone. The liaison said she could give them a pager but he said he'd prefer to stay. Angela glanced at him, confused then miffed. He looked away.

To past the time, Korsak and Frost regaled Frank with stories about Jane and her exploits with them. Maura listened and smiled faintly, but as each hour passed, she became more concerned about Jane. The door opened again with a different surgeon presenting himself. He was in his thirties, tall, handsome, with hair the color of Jane's, Maura noticed. The news was good: successfullaproscopy to repair a lacerated liver and a chest tube for peritoneal bleeding, minor pneumothorax, rib fracture, skin, muscle damage that will all heal in time. Maura and Korsak smiled at each other, Frost put his face in his hands briefly then brought them together with relief.

"It was a little touch and go with the volume of blood loss but Jane is quite a fighter," the surgeon smiled at them and lingered on Maura. Frank followed the liaison to his daughter.

Jane lay with her eyes closed listening to the beep of her monitor and the hissing of the nasal cannula delivering her oxygen. Her throat hurt a little from being intubated but the rest of her body seemed only vaguely there. Suddenly, she felt a warm hand onto of hers. She opened her eyes. It was Frank Sr. He pulled up a chair and sat down.

"How ya doin' kiddo?" Frank spoke softly and stroked her forehead with his rough thumb. She nodded at him. "Frankie's in recovery. He's gonna be okay."

Jane nodded.

"Your guys told me what happened." Jane's face looked suddenly stricken and she felt the tears welling up.

"Don't do anything like that again, baby. I'm an old man and I can't take it, alright?"

Jane wanted to talk to him she desperately tried to find her voice. She nodded. After some coughing she managed a squeaky "sorry, Pop."

"You're a hell of a cop that had a hell of a bad day."

She smiled.

"I'm not gonna stay long 'cause there's some cops and an ME that got ants in their pants wanting to get in here. And your Ma is beside herself."

Jane rolled her eyes. Frank spent a few more minutes with her until the 'what ifs' started to jam up his throat.

"You relax and I'll be back after I check on your brother."

Frank went back to the waiting room. Angela immediately stood and walked toward the door and the liaison Korsak, Frost, and Maura stood as well.

"I can't take you all, I'm sorry, just Mrs. Rizzoli."

"May I go with you, Angela? Please?" Maura spoke up.

Angela paused and looked at her. She admired how well put together and polite Maura always was. So helpful and very smart. Angela held out her hand. "Come on, sweetie."

Angela looked at the red-haired woman, "She's Jane's girlfriend."

The liaison looked at Maura, Maura looked at Angela, momentarily astonished until she realized Angela was not referring to _that_ connotation. They received their stick on visitor badges for ICU.

As she became more coherent, Jane started to reconstruct the struggle for the gun with Marino and how she might have avoided what she did but then forced herself to stop and think instead about how Maura instructed her to meditate, to try and make your mind go blank. Morphine made that so much easier.

They were told by Jane's nurse everything that they would see and that Jane may not be totally able to speak with them. It did absolutely no good as Angela became unhinged as soon as she saw her in the bed.

"Oh my gawd, Jane!" Angela ran to her and kissed her multiple times. Jane opened her eyes and her blood pressure on the monitor started to climb. The nurse came back in and admonished Angela to take it down a notch. Angela sat in the chair, held Jane's left hand and stroked the top of her head .

"I thought I'd lost you, honey. Your father told you Frankie is going to be okay?"

Jane nodded.

"Maura is here, and Vince and what's his name, Frost are waiting to see you."

Jane scanned the room when she heard "Maura." Maura was standing in the doorway.

"All these tubes and wires, Jane. I can't take this."

Jane thought, 'oh no, here it comes'.

"I knew this was going to happen. Once, twice, three times now you almost die. You _have _to think about doing something else. Consult, security, train other cops?"

Jane let her eyes roll up into her head then just kept them closed. If she could make herself flat line she would do it, not because she begrudged her mother any of these feelings but she couldn't do this now. It was always just out there with her, unfiltered.

"Jane?"

She did not open her eyes or squeeze her mom's hand.

"Jane, I know you can hear me. Why do you keep putting me through this? Don't you care about me?"

Jane looked at her mother, "Ma, could you just...leave? I can't...?" It was hard, cruel, Jane knew. She shut her eyes again to avoid Angela's open mouthed stare.

"Okay. You rest. I'll be back soon." She kissed her on the forehead and left.

After a moment, Jane opened one eye to check. "Uh," she sighed.

Maura took the bedside seat. ""Hi Jane," she smiled at her.

"You look like shit," Jane said with a grin.

"I've had a difficult day," Maura laughed.

Jane raised her arm and put her hand on Maura's cheek. She put her hand over Jane's. Maura closed her eyes and started to cry. It was relief this time.

"Don't, Maura," Jane croaked.

"I'm sorry, Jane." Jane moved her hand down Maura's face, over the chain around her neck, and held her own shield in her hand.

"Do you want it back now?" Maura asked.

Jane dropped it. "Go harass people with it."

Maura smiled. Tears continued but at a manageable rate.

"You were so brave, you saved Frankie...," Jane had to pause and catch her breath, "... saved us all with your footwork. You saved my ass."

"No, you're brave, Jane. I couldn't have done anything for Frankie without you."

Jane wiped Maura's tears clumsily with her finger tips. A tear rolled from the corner of Jane's eye. Maura took Jane's hand and pressed the palm to her lips then back to cheek.

"I'm sorry, Maura. About what I did. I just...with Frankie, I lost it."

Maura put down Jane's hand but continued to hold it firmly in both of her hands.

"I can't judge you, Jane. You did what you had to do. Bobby could have taken a shot at me. It would have been risky with limited benefit but he could have chosen to try."

Jane furled her brow in confusion.

"I charged right out the front door after you."

"You did? I didn't...oh, then you saw."

"Yes, it was the worst moment of my life...so far."

"I'm sorry."

Korsak and Frost appeared in the door on deck. Korsak was first in the room He bent down and kissed her on top of her head. Maura let go of Jane's hand.

"Hell of a way to take down a perp, Jane," Korsak said. Frost came up to Jane's bedside but he coughed and averted his eyes in a way similar to when his aversion to crime scene blood and gore.

"Frost," Jane said in a hoarse voice higher than normal, "I'm not dead yet."

"Sorry, Jane," Frost said. He pushed himself forward and put a hand on her shoulder. "This is just way worse that any corpse seeing you like this." Jane understood what he was saying. This happened to Jane on his watch, _ on his watch_.

"Marino's dead, two of his goons are probably gonna live, and Wolf is gone," Korsak said. "There's cops all over this place showing out for you and Frankie."

"Thank you, Korsak. Thank you for... you know."

"Yeah, you're there for me, Jane."

Jane looked at Frost, "You too, Frost. Thank you for bein' here."

Frost looked at Jane and Maura for a couple moments, "Hey, so we'd better let you rest partner. I'm going to try and see Frankie then let some people know about our hero here. We'll check on you tomorrow." He squeezed Jane's hand and touched Maura's shoulder. "I'm gonna be your ride back to headquarters so whenever you're ready." He turned and smacked Korsak on the shoulder. "Let's go, Korsak."

Korsak bent over Jane and put his hand on her arm, "You're a dumb shit, Jane, but I've never seen anything like it. I'll be back soon."

Maura moved forward and stroked the side of Jane's face and hair. Jane closed her eyes. After several minutes and nurses passing through, Maura reluctantly decided to leave.

"Jane?" Jane opened her eyes with effort. "I don't want to keep Frost waiting. Bass is in my car so I will have to take him home then go to your apartment, feed Jo, and get anything you need."

She stood, adjusted her ruined dress, and brushed back her hair with her hands. She took Jane's hand and squeezed it.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." When Maura broke her grasp, Jane continued to hold on.

"Maura, I love you too."

Maura started to lose it again.

"Don't do it," Jane commanded.

Maura lowered the bar on Jane's hospital bed, placed her hand lightly on Jane's forehead, bent down and kissed her lips. She felt Jane weakly kissing back. She raised the bar again and touched Jane's face one more time then left. Maura stood outside Jane's room for a moment to compose herself. She thought about asking some questions or trying to find the attending but she decided to try later. She would be testing her status as "the girlfriend."

Korsak stayed with the Rizzolis. Frost drove Maura to her car. She didn't speak much. He thought maybe she was sleeping or meditating. He couldn't be sure with her. At the parking deck, she turned and smiled at him: "Thank you, Barry. I know I have to give a statement at some point." She started to get out of the car.

Frost gathered up his courage and the words that had been swimming in his head: "Maura, I want to tell you something." She stopped and looked at him.

"I know about you and Jane."

"What about Jane and me?"

Frost rubbed his hand down over his face. "I know you, ah, had, ah, are... together."

Maura raised her eyebrows at Frost then sunk back into the seat. She stared out the windshield.

"_Jane. _ 'Don't tell anyone, Maura,' she said. 'Keep it on the LD, Maura.'"

"DL—down low," Frost corrected her.

"'Just act normal, Maura. As normal as _ you_ can, Maura.'"

Frost chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like her." He made eye contact with Maura. "I support you two but..."

"But what, Barry?"

"I would say this if Jane were a man too. Being with a cop can be difficult.. You know the job is hard and Jane is all about the job...and Jane, with her history...I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Don't you think that's a bit cliché?" Maura kept the anger she felt disguised by an even tone of voice. "And what are you implying about Jane? That she is unfit for a relationship?"

"I'm sorry, Maura. Forget I said that."

"Thanks for your backhanded vote of confidence." Maura got out of the car but leaned in for a parting shot. " It takes a lot of nerve to say that with Jane lying in a hospital bed."

"I'm sorry." Maura shut the door, walked to her car and got in. The stench hit her right away. Bass was in the backseat. She stretched over the seat to check on him. He was alive and had defecated voluminously in his carrier. She hoped maybe he had just been constipated.

"Hang on, we'll be home soon." As she pulled out of her parking spot, she noticed Frost was still there waiting for her to leave.

At her condo, Maura carried Bass in, cleaned him up as quickly as she could, put him down with fresh food and water. She stood giving him encouragement and apologies and watched until he took his first bite then she went to her bathroom and took off the bloody dress so quickly, she heard it rip. She balled it up and threw it on the floor. In the shower, she ran the water colder than she preferred because she could feel herself starting to run down. She was exhausted physically and even more emotionally. She realized she had not taken off her underwear. As the cool water ran over her head, she pictured Jane in the hospital. She looked so pale, so fragile. Like she had never seen her friend. She had no time for this. She toweled off, put on casual clothes, took one more look at Bass in his habitat and headed to Jane's apartment. There, she opened the door and Jane's little dog was waiting. Though it appeared she had already gone on the floor, she leashed her and took her outside. Back inside, she cleaned up the mess, put down food and water for Jo. She stooped to pet her and gave her a recap of the day. Maura stood back up with effort. She had taken only coffee since breakfast and was close to not functioning. She looked in Jane's fridge but then closed it. 'Perhaps if I lie down just for a few minutes' she thought,' and went to Jane's bedroom. She stepped out of her shoes and climbed onto Jane's side of her unmade bed. Jo Friday jumped on the bed, sniffed her, and curled up against her back. Maura pressed the side of her face into Jane's pillow and breathed in her scent. A lump rose in her throat but she was too tired to cry anymore.

Next—Chapter 2: Release


End file.
